no true friends
a broken family
living without your love
…
nothing seems worth it anymore
I keep wondering if you’ll come back to me. If you’ll realize you do love me after all. I keep thinking of ways to win you back. Analyzing everything. Trying to come up with some kind of logical explanation. I guess you could say I’m still in denial. I’ve done everything I could. I feel completely lost now. I’ve lost the love of the person I cared about most. The one person I thought I could completely trust and give my heart and soul to. You know me better than anyone else. These days without you have been miserable at best. Life doesn’t feel worth living anymore. Do you remember the days you used to care about me? I would do anything for you..anything. I don’t know what I did wrong or why you don’t want “us” anymore. I don’t know what you want right now; all I know is that you’ve made it clear it’s not me. Do you even know how much you’ve hurt me? Do you honestly even care? You were my happiness, my everything. You still are and you are always going to be. I can numb myself from the pain. I can keep busy and try not think about you. In those quiet moments alone though or when I can’t distract myself I cry. I cry my eyes out. I have to use every bit of strength I have in me to prevent myself from cutting or reaching for some pills. I feel like I have no purpose in life anymore; I’m simply existing. I don’t know what for and I try not to think about it. I’m just a shell now and inside is nothing.
